I am not a natural Mother. Over the years I have been told quite a few times that I am a Natural Mama. This post is to dispel that myth. When I say naturalmama, I do not mean it in…
First up is Instagram and particularly learning to be visually creative with my images. I am no photographer, but since my amazing talented friend Rida over at beforeandagain_ introduced me to the wonderful world of VSCO. I have had the confidence and a little bit more understanding how to edit my photos . I have really enjoyed playing around and trying to find out what is my style.
The boys had the best time, jumping and splashing, submerging their hands into the mud and throwing bits of mud in the air. It was wonderful to watch, they were just so free. Without me telling them to be careful, don’t get wet, stop shouting they played and played and it was great. Once they were finished they both wanted their hands cleaned and lets just say, a baby wipe wasn’t going to cut it. We found a small stream of running water and they jumped right in and cleaned their hands, they thought it was the best.
You know that you moved schools, predominantly because we moved house, but really it was because of your brother. You had to go to his school. He couldn’t move to your school, and although you know this is because your previous school couldn’t meet Zachary’s needs in the way that your new school can. It still sucks and I get that.
Well, it’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to sit and write a blog post. It’s been far longer than I anticipated or wanted. You know, sometimes life gets in the way. Having four children means sometimes life gets busy, busier than normal. Every now and again I have to hold my hands up and say something has got to give and for a while it was blogging.
As Mothers, sleep and time are probably the two most common things that elude us. Often we have to sacrifice one of them to enable ourselves to get enough of the other to make sure we are still able to function. I don’t think you ever truly understand the value and luxury that is sleep, until you add some mini human beings into your life.
Most people know that newborns are going to seriously impede on the amount sleep you can expect to get. Pregnant Mothers are often advised to get as much sleep as they can during the later stages of pregnancy, as they won’t be getting much during the first nine months of Motherhood. Hahaha.
We travelled by train which was fun for the boys. It didn’t take long for the boys to all be playing together. There were water systems with toy boats, water squirters and little cogs to turn to create currents. It was great. Hannah and I managed to get in snippets of conversations, between me herding my brood, doing trips to the toilet and feeding my hungry bunch. The boys got to operate a robot arm, that played an electric drum kit, I may have had a go too. The boys explored a huge steam engine and got to control what I think was a mini replica of the Mars Rover, unfortunately we didn’t get to go into the planetarium due to my well established poor time keeping. Alexx controlled a really cool robot where you could make it sing/talk etc. It was a great day had by all.
Now from everything I have written here it would be easy to assume, I was well on the way to getting my shit together. Well I am here to say “Do Not Be Fooled”. I have made some baby steps, but I still have a long way to go. However, it is hard, there is so much to focus on. So much to do, so many different things trying to get my time. I don’t know what to do or where to start. Then I add extra stuff on top like writing a blog and running an Instagram account and everyone knows if you want to be successful [whatever that means to you, you have to work on the stats]. I started looking into and adding in these extra dimensions to try and boost my stats and therefore boost my audience reach too. I always feel a bit of an idiot talking about this stuff, but the reality is at the end of the day, I do want people to read what I write. I want encourage and connect with people and me writing and no one reading, isn’t going to make that happen. I started to get sucked in, I also started losing my joy and my passion. I would find myself getting overwhelmed, uninspired and procrastinating and not producing the content I wanted to, because my head was basically too far up my own arse trying to find a magic formula.
Time, waits for no one.
We all know this. We all have exactly the same 24 hours a day as everyone else. Yet, I stand by and feel as though I am sinking beneath the tides of the reality that is my life. I watch others, mainly woman on Instagram who seem to have it all figured out. Women who run a home, work out side of the home, run a blog, look sleek and stylish AND are super Mama’s to boot. I sit and watch their lives unfold on my screen and wonder how. Now this is not a post talking about the perils of social media and how you only get to see selected snapshots of these people’s lives, OK well it is, but not in the way that you think. It all comes down to time.
More than just Flowers.
Zachary can sometimes struggle with his emotions, especially big emotions. I know this is nothing strange when it come to five year old’s. Heaven knows at the grand old age of 32, I do too. I have learnt to ‘read’ Zachary and I have learnt to preempt what many of his ‘triggers’ are. A lot of the challenges Zachary faces due to his Autism are the same as any other child his age, however it tends to be the intensity and frequency that sets him apart. When I collected Zachary from school on Friday he came out with this huge grin, ran up to me and hugged me. He tried to pick me up and he was talking ten to the dozen. I could tell you what was going to happen next, just by those first few seconds.
It’s funny because I was going to introduce you as my first real life friend to feature in my Follow Friday series, but then I remembered we haven’t actually met. Although we have known each other for over 6 years we are still yet to meet in the flesh.
The Beautiful Kerri Himsworth
Kerri and I originally met on a forum for people trying to conceive their second child, which we both did and there was a mere 6 days between our delivery dates and I was online talking to Kerri and some other friends when my waters broke, I have also been in contact with Kerri during my other subsequent labours too. We are still frequently in contact although its not normally as high tense as the “its this it” conversations we have had in the past.
I get to pretend.
To pretend that everything is OK. That we are all fine. Then I have a day like last Tuesday, where it just soccer punches you right in the gut. Where it takes your breath away and you can’t hide from it and you can’t pretend to be normal because it is plain to see for all in big, bold, capital letters.