To The Mum Who…

The Changing Rooms

I took Zachary to his swimming lesson. Normally they are chaotic as I have all four boys with me, and well… that should be enough of an explanation. Anyway, today was a little different as I only had Zachary and Ezra, and Ezra was in his pushchair happily eating a danish pastry. I was there with my gorgeous big boy Zachary who was behaving impeccably and my 19 month old who was just well… utter perfection (minus the danish).

I was thinking to myself this is easy, I could get used to this. When I heard the all to familiar words of “Sit down”, “Hold it properly”, “Don’t put your clean clothes on the floor”. I was awoken from my daydream of how easy life would be to just have two children. To see and hear a Mum on the bench opposite struggling with her two children.

She was getting flustered, trying to get them changed, but after a long day they were tired, hungry and slow to co operate. There was a bit inside of me that felt for her. That was me nearly every week and I knew she would have been judging herself, harshly.

We made eye contact and smiled at each other. Whilst waiting for the lessons to begin. I felt brave and when I heard her making another all too familiar comment of “Don’t run, it’s dangerous”. I said I feel like you have been saying line for line what I say every week”.

I gave her another smile and we spoke for a moment and we agreed that sometimes you have to let the children do certain things, just to keep the peace. In her case it was letting her children sit under the stairs, mine was the Danish pastry.

I Have A Runner

After the swimming lessons where finished. We were both getting our children changed. In a split second her young son, who had been happily playing on her mobile phone was gone. Neither of us had really noticed the little shadowy figure that walked past us belonged to him.

It was her daughter that drew attention to the fact he was no longer sat on the bench. She found him just about to walk out the main doors of the building. When she came back she was firm with him, she didn’t scream at him. She asked him questions about where he was going and why he did it. She was explaining why it was so dangerous. She kept her cool, but I knew inside she was a mess.

I sat quietly whilst she dealt with the situation and as I left I told her. I have a runner. I told her about Darwin and some of the experiences we have had with him. I told her she handled the situation really well. I told her how many times Darwin had run away from me and how scary it felt. She seemed relieved. I told her she was doing a good job, then I left.

It’s Not Just You

It got me thinking about all the moments in my parenting journey. That it would have been amazing to have someone say. It’s not just you. You are not alone. You are doing your best and you are doing fine. I decided to share some of those moments on here. Hopefully you will either read it and think, I am glad it’s not just me or think well I haven’t ever had that happen maybe I’m not so bad at this parenting gig. Here it goes.

To The Mum Who…

To the Mum whose kid has…

 

  • Eaten a bowl of soup with their hands
  • Smeared himself with his own poop
  • Broken a bone when you were right there
  • Vomited on a long haul car journey, requiring a full new set of clothes
  • Jumped in a fountain in the middle of town
  • Puked down your back
  • Covered themselves in sudocrem
  • Flooded the bathroom
  • Gone to school in their pjs *not on a non uniform day
  •  Gone missing for 5 whole minutes in a crowded park

To the Mum who has…

  • Forgot to pack a lunch for a school trip
  • Forgot it was dress up day
  • Shouted before 7am
  • Locked themselves in the bathroom for a break 
  • Accidentally swore out loud in front of the kid
  • Told your child Soft-play was closed. Because you didn’t want to go.
  • Played inappropriate music around the kid, because they were too young to understand.
  • Let the kid stay up till they fell asleep as you couldn’t deal with another tantrum.
  • Given in for demands for chocolate for breakfast
  • Questioned why they had kids and if they were really cut out for Motherhood.

To the Mum who feels, exhausted, over whelmed and generally a bit sh-itty. We’ve all been there. The best thing to do is learn when to laugh and remember you are human. Learn when to have a good cry and draw a line under that part of the day and start again. Find your tribe and call out for stories and support to show you are just like everyone else.

I really hope this post puts a smile on someone’s face. Please feel free to share if you think it might cheer someone up. Also feel free to share you stories in the comments. I would love to know what things you have done that you can now laugh about.

Happy Saturday.

Much love and many thanks

Cherie

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16 Comments

  1. January 30, 2018 / 9:58 pm

    That was so heartfelt! A beautiful story.

    • January 31, 2018 / 7:19 pm

      Thank you,

      I am so glad that o shared this. It seems to have resonated with a lot of people.

      Cherie

  2. Arin
    January 23, 2018 / 1:41 am

    I loved this post so much. Being a mom is SO HARD. I have a child with some special needs, and many times struggle with feeling he or I are being judged, and wish I knew all moms had your heart!

    • January 25, 2018 / 10:40 am

      Hi Aron

      Welcome. My 2nd son has ASD and
      I completely understand the the worrying that you or he are being judged. It’s HARD!! I think there are more Mamas with a kind heart, we just need to speak up and reach out more.
      Thank you so much for commenting.

      Cherie

  3. January 23, 2018 / 12:45 am

    Nice to know I am not alone ?. Isn’t it funny how you can look another mother and know EXACTLY how she feels? Love to just give her that reassuring smile; letting her know “I understand and she’s not alone. Thanks for the encouragement!

    • January 25, 2018 / 10:38 am

      Hi Linda

      Thanks for reading. It is funny how we just know. Being part of Motherhood often means we can communicate without words. Knowing we just get it.

      Cherie

  4. Floby
    January 22, 2018 / 9:47 pm

    I can relate with everything. Glad that I am not alone. Hahaha! So much things to learn being a Mom indeed.

    • January 25, 2018 / 10:35 am

      Hi Floby

      Yes there is so much to learn being a Mom, you have to adjust to your new role as well as get to know this whole other human. Glad this post was relatable.

      Cherie

  5. January 22, 2018 / 6:48 pm

    Oh, this was good for my soul. Thank you for writing this! It always brings tears to my eyes to see moms encouraging other moms, just because we’ve all BEEN THERE and it can be so hard, so beautiful, and so overwhelming. We beat ourselves up enough; what we need is for someone to understand what we’re going through and to tell us how it’s going to be okay <3
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    • January 25, 2018 / 10:33 am

      Hi Jordan

      Like you say we have all been there and judgement does no good for anyone. Motherhood is amazing but like you say can be hard and overwhelming. I think it’s important to let’s others know that things better better/easier.

      Thanks so much for stopping by

      Cherie

  6. January 22, 2018 / 6:28 pm

    This post made me smile. I just got back from the library where my 3 year old threw an ultimate tantrum in front of everybody because he didn’t want to leave. I had to breath in and pretend smile while giving him the “Get your ass over here”-look ! ? (To my defense I’m also 8 months pregnant)
    Thank god we all have our moments and not everybody is perfect.
    Love the list “to the mum who has” – I did it all!!

    • January 25, 2018 / 10:32 am

      Hi Sara

      Libraries are so hard with toddlers, there is no noise to drown them out!!! I love that you have the look, my mum had that too. Mine doesn’t seem
      To be quiet as effective as hers was.

      Ohhh how exciting you will have a new baby soon!! Well done on getting out and about with the toddler, I was always exhausted when I was pregnant. I love that you enjoyed the list element too.

      Cherie

  7. January 22, 2018 / 5:45 pm

    This is raw and I love it. We all have our days. (Mine tend to be more often than not). We are in this together. Uniting moms needs to be more common. If we come together and help each other life would be better. <3

    • January 25, 2018 / 10:29 am

      Hi Miranda

      Thank you for stopping by. I seem to be in a phase of these days happening more often than not too. Just remember everything has its season. I completely agree with you about uniting Mothers, dividing us does nothing for anyone except people trying to cash in on our uneasiness.

      Cherie

  8. January 22, 2018 / 5:35 pm

    Wow. Are you spying on my house?!? Lol!! It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone in some of these things. Motherhood is definitely intense at times..

    • January 23, 2018 / 6:51 pm

      Hi Chava,

      I can assure you I’m not spying on your house. I don’t have time with my
      Four ?

      I’m glad that you enjoyed this post and I agree Motherhood can be super intense, but it is nice to know we all feel like this from time to time. Thank you for stopping by.

      Cherie

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